Christopher tm Herdt (cherdt) wrote,
Christopher tm Herdt

The Wasp and the Tomato: Ret Hot Drama

The weather is beautiful today. If you are stuck inside at work, I suggest that you leave immediately.

While dining outside at Red Hot Lovers, a wasp descended and fell upon a tomato slice, which was balanced on a polish sausage. I attempted to shoe it away, but the wasp did not flinch; its dedication to the tomato was so powerful that all other stimuli were ignored. Likewise when I actually poked its wings with my finger.

Obviously, the tomato was delicious. Not your average run-of-the-mill tomato slice. I arrived at an unpleasant conclusion: the tasty morsel would have to be sacrificed in order to dine without fear of accidentally swallowing a wasp and suffering internal stings. I removed the tomato slice with the aid of a plastic fork, and threw it to the curb near a Hyundai Elantra. To my surprise, the wasp was unfazed. It did not leave the tomato slice. It consumed the juices greedily, as if it had taken no note of being tossed harshly to the ground.

And there the wasp remained, dedicated to its tomato slice, throughout the remainder of the meal. An oak leaf blew over the wasp without causing any discernible reaction. The world had disappeared. There was only a wasp and a tomato slice, locked in an embrace. Was this a feast, or was this a kingdom-crossed love? Sweet nectar!

Until, that is, the owner of the Hyundai returned to her vehicle and, upon opening the passenger door, retrieving a few items she'd left there, and closing the door again, proceeded to step on, without knowledge of or warning, the wasp and the tomato slice. This--oh, cruel fate!--this the wasp took note of. The fattened wasp wandered off, away from its precious tomato, and underneath the shadow of the rear passenger tire. It walked slowly, deliberately, as if the movement of each limb required the most careful concentration.

I lost sight of the wasp; it disappeared beneath the Hyundai. The tomato, now squashed, lay in broad daylight, wounds exposed to the world.

Perhaps they were doomed from the start? Although the wasp was the more animated and passionate of the pair, in the end my heart went out to the tomato, who forsook a life as a sausage-adorning condiment and gave everything--everything!--to live a meager existence with a wanton wasp, who at the first sign of real trouble left her, damaged and unwanted, at the curb.

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