Christopher tm Herdt (cherdt) wrote,
Christopher tm Herdt


While I was in Sidney, Ohio, one of my aunts asked me to track down a newspaper columnist by the name of Foster Childs. One of her friends, she said, is a big fan of his and has some clippings of his articles. However, he doesn't know what newspaper the columnist writes for--he just knows it's a Michigan newspaper.

(That's where I come in, see, with my vast perceived knowledge of and connection to all Michigan newspapers.)

Foster Childs is, in all probability, a pseudonym. The only direct reference I found was on a blog that cut-and-pasted a Foster Childs' column, Why the Democrats Lost, supposedly published in Tri-County Times. The column slams dems endlessly, so I can see why the author might not want to append his name to it.

There is a Michigan newspaper called Tri-Country Times, out of Fenton, Michigan (home of Elvis Hitler!). It seems like just the sort of newspaper that might run such inflammatory partisan rhetoric, but there's no mention of a Foster Childs.

I was thinking maybe this columnist is utterly contrived. There are probably 100 small newspapers called Tri-County Times across the U.S. Maybe Foster Childs is just a Monty Cantsin?

Then I found a mention of him on the Tri-County Times site. It sounds like he's a community member that writes guest editorials a couple times a year--a step up from letters to the editor. And this guy has a devoted follower in Ohio?

Ah, but no--he write a column called "If I were King" that is attributed only to least, that's what I conclude after reading the line "Or, in the words of my former coach, Mr. Farmer, 'Childs, you stink'" in one of the columns. Now I can send this information to my aunt--mystery solved.

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