Christopher tm Herdt (cherdt) wrote,
Christopher tm Herdt

Ann Arbor Detroyed by Santas

We're a small town, but we have big holiday cheer. We had about 24 Santas and one clown, but after my 10th drink it looked like there were 48 Santas and a thousand clowns!

One of my favorite parts of the evening, and what really took me from Holiday Reveller to Assault Santa, was meeting these surly teens outside our 2nd watering-hole of the evening:

The one with the olive hat was particularly surly. He made a lot of snide remarks about Santas and elves. Wait a minute, kid--do you really think you are fucking with 20 Santas? No Ho Ho! 20 Santas are fucking with you. In spirit with the season, I gave him a wrapped present from my bag.

Later, when we wandered back that way, we found a slightly damaged cassette on the ground. It was Lionel Richie's Can't Slow Down, one of the presents I had wrapped! Inside had been a note advising the recipient to listen to hits "Hello" and "Stuck On You" as often as he liked, but to fast-forward through "All Night Long (All Night)," since that song was for grown-ups. There was also a message encouraging the recipient to pass the gift on if it didn't suit. Instead, the ungrateful little brat did a half-assed job of destroying it. I mean, when I was a teen, I would have smashed the fuck out of that cassette, and left magnetic tape streamers all up and down the street. What is it with the kids these days? No attention to detail.

That's when Santa's adrenaline entered the boozestream. And the rest of the night is photographic history. A good thing, too, since I don't remember much of it!
Tags: santa

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