The State of the Me Address
I had my first eye exam since 2002, when quada
got to babysit me as I came to from my vasovagal syncope (read: I fainted). This time I refused all glaucoma tests and eye-drops. I should probably go ahead with those things sometime, but not today. I got my new prescription, which is basically my old prescription.
I have successfully had blood drawn now without passing out! Yep, I just had to lie down. Apparently it's nearly impossible to pass out if you're lying down (unless you're hemorrhaging blood or something). That's good to know, and ought to save me future trouble.
Last week I had an endoscopy, and I now have photos of the inside of my stomach. The inside of me is almost as handsome as the outside of me. It turns out there's probably nothing wrong with me, I just need to eat 3500 calories a day or something to get back up to my fightin' and pants-fittin' weight. My brother recommended beer and fast food. I'm giving ice cream a go.
I'm not saying how I know this, but I'm going to advise against buying the fish labeled walu, wahluu, Hawaiian butterfish, or white tuna. It's an attractive-looking fish, white flesh, solid—looks a lot like Chilean sea bass, only it's half the price. It's proper name is escolar
, and, like I said, I'm not saying how I know anything about this fish. And however I know about it, it most certainly probably wasn't one of the reasons I had my insides checked out.