March 5th, 2002


What an awful day

So today at work, "Lord" Vader (I can't believe he insists we call him that) calls me into his office. (Not good under any circumstances, but recently he's reduced my staff of bounty hunters to three, and one of them is that good-for-nothing IG-88.)

"Boba," he says, "the Empire is cutting costs. The board wants to see a profit this quarter, and with all the expenses we've encountered developing Death Star NT, we've decided to eliminate the Bounty Hunter Dept."

Eliminate the Bounty Hunters!?! That's crazy! Who else could track a Rodian across three star systems by sense of smell? Certainly not some stormtrooper fresh out of boot camp, that's for damn sure.

So then Vader really lays it on me: "We're transferring you, and your staff, to the Sales Dept. We need as many people in revenue-generating positions as possible."

I head down to H.R., which is like a mile away from Vader's office (they'll dock you a week's wages if they catch you using your jet pack aboard the ship, the tightasses) and they tell me I'm assigned to some place called Dagobah, which I've never even heard of (and I've been around...seriously), and I'll be selling high-end hypoallergenic air filtration systems, you know, for big office buildings and what-not.

On the bright side, the relocation package seems pretty nice. I'm getting a 1600 sq. ft. ranch house on 15 acres on Dagobah. I've never had much of a yard before...maybe I'll take up gardening. Guess I'll go pack up the Slave I...!
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