Christopher tm Herdt (cherdt) wrote,
Christopher tm Herdt
cherdt

Imitation Tortoise Shell is no Mother-of-Pearl

I am terrible at shaving. I'm just no good at it. I knew this, but it became quite apparent yesterday when I scraped half of my face off. I've been practicing for 15 years, and I just haven't seen the kind of marked improvement that I would like to see after so much practice. I haven't been the most dedicated shaver, it is true, in spite of the fact that a few day's growth always comes across looking more like a redneck teenager than Don Johnson's Sonny Crockett--but I still expected a little improvement in my technique over time.

well_lahdidah said, "Have you never seen a single episode of 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy'? The first thing they do, every episode, is throw away the disposable razors."

Nim agreed with the verdict, but turned his nose up in disdain at 'Queer Eye,' which, like me, I suspect he has never seen but judges based on its popularity.

Nim also went on to say, "And let me give you this additional advice: get a brush and shaving soap."
I looked at him funny.
"Instead of shaving cream," he said.
I looked at him funny.
"You seriously have never peeked in my medicine cabinet?" I asked.
"Glad to see you took my advice, then," he said.
"Unfortunately, that's the best advice you've ever given me."

Since I am terrible at shaving and clearly should dispose of disposables, it is quite clear that I need a Case XX straight razor, that way I can one day inadvertently remove my nose instead of just some pesky stubble...and the skin that keeps my flesh on the inside of my body. But I was really hoping for something with a mother-of-pearl handle, and the Case XX straight razor comes with an imitation tortoise shell handle. Yes, nothing says class like imitation tortoise shell. If I cut off my nose, I want it to be cut off with something better than an imitation-tortoise-shell-handled straight razor, whether the blade is from Solingen, Germany, or not--which just screams Made with Pride in the U.S.A., doesn't it?

There is an option other than imitation tortoise shell: but just what is chestnut bone, anyway?
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